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Why We Get Stuck in Ruts

STUCK

The reason we get stuck in ruts is because we  fail to follow effectively in someone else’s footsteps – someone who has done things well, moving along, getting things done. In fact, we start to feel like failures when we get stuck.

We fail to follow in the steps of people who have done things right — achieved health, wealth and enlightened peace — because we are fools. If we were smart, we would copy other people who are successful and arrive at all the places we want to be.

WHY WE FAIL TO DO WHAT WE SHOULD DO TO CHANGE

We fail to do what we should do to change for the better, because nobody can tell us what to do. This is not a statement about you, in particular, it is a statement about how change happens.  In fact, people telling us what to do often creates anti-change. We can’t follow even the best examples of people doing it right because of this.

Even worse than having nobody be able to tell us what to do, is just how much we learn from failure. Because, when we fail, we DISCOVER what works. That discovery is emotional. It’s not intellectual. Without the exciting feeling of discovery — coming upon something worthwhile, meaningful, important, interesting, new, exciting…we get stuck.

HOW TO COPE WITH THE FAILURE

The only way to cope with failure, is to suffer. Most people suffer today because they are not happy with the fact that for most of us, life is 97% work and duty, and 3% lovely glimmers of joy. Hopefully, the 97% is basically satisfying. Unfortunately, we are not happy with just the 3% of joy. We want more.  Of course, wanting more out of life is really just a by-product of ambition, and therefore, a positive thing. If you suffer enough because 3% or less is not enough for you, in fact, you may become more motivated to discover what will actually get you more out of life. Instead of torment yourself with evidence of your inability to follow in other people’s footsteps who are doing it right. I am always pleased to see that people, when they come to me for therapy, want more out of life. The suffering is unfortunate, but must be overlooked.

NEXT HOW-TO: HOW TO ENJOY LIFE MORE

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